The Big Book of Rogues and Villains Read online

  ALSO EDITED BY OTTO PENZLER

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  A VINTAGE CRIME/BLACK LIZARD ORIGINAL, OCTOBER 2017

  Copyright © 2017 by Otto Penzler

  All rights reserved. Published in the United States by Vintage Books, a division of Penguin Random House LLC, New York, and distributed in Canada by Random House of Canada, a division of Penguin Random House Canada Limited, Toronto.

  Vintage is a registered trademark and Vintage Crime/Black Lizard and colophon are trademarks of Penguin Random House LLC.

  This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the product of the authors’ imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

  The Cataloging-in-Publication data is on file at the Library of Congress.

  Vintage Crime/Black Lizard Trade Paperback ISBN: 9780525432487

  Ebook ISBN 9780525432494

  Cover design: Joe Montgomery

  Cover illustration: Le Bouchon De Cristal (detail) by Leo Fontan/Mary Evans Picture Library

  www.blacklizardcrime.com

  v4.1

  a

  For Andrew Klavan

  My wise, hilarious, and trusted friend and confidant—sometimes roguish but never villainous

  CONTENTS

  Cover

  Also Edited by Otto Penzler

  Title Page

  Copyright

  Dedication

  Introduction by Otto Penzler

  THE VICTORIANS

  At the Edge of the Crater

  L. T. Meade & Robert Eustace

  The Episode of the Mexican Seer

  Grant Allen

  The Body Snatcher

  Robert Louis Stevenson

  Dracula’s Guest

  Bram Stoker

  The Narrative of Mr. James Rigby

  Arthur Morrison

  The Ides of March

  E. W. Hornung

  NINETEENTH-CENTURY AMERICANS

  The Story of a Young Robber

  Washington Irving

  Moon-Face

  Jack London

  The Shadow of Quong Lung

  C. W. Doyle

  THE EDWARDIANS

  The Fire of London

  Arnold Bennett

  Madame Sara

  L. T. Meade & Robert Eustace

  The Affair of the Man Who Called Himself Hamilton Cleek

  Thomas W. Hanshew

  The Mysterious Railway Passenger

  Maurice Leblanc

  An Unposted Letter

  Newton MacTavish

  The Adventure of “The Brain”

  Bertram Atkey

  The Kailyard Novel

  Clifford Ashdown

  The Parole of Gevil-Hay

  K. & Hesketh Prichard

  The Hammerpond Park Burglary

  H. G. Wells

  The Zayat Kiss

  Sax Rohmer

  EARLY TWENTIETH-CENTURY AMERICANS

  The Infallible Godahl

  Frederick Irving Anderson

  The Caballero’s Way

  O. Henry

  Conscience in Art

  O. Henry

  The Unpublishable Memoirs

  A. S. W. Rosenbach

  The Universal Covered Carpet Tack Company

  George Randolph Chester

  Boston Blackie’s Code

  Jack Boyle

  The Gray Seal

  Frank L. Packard

  The Dignity of Honest Labor

  Percival Pollard

  The Eyes of the Countess Gerda

  May Edginton

  The Willow Walk

  Sinclair Lewis

  A Retrieved Reformation

  O. Henry

  BETWEEN THE WORLD WARS

  The Burglar

  John Russell

  Portrait of a Murderer

  Q. Patrick

  Karmesin and the Big Flea

  Gerald Kersh

  The Very Raffles-Like Episode of Castor and Pollux, Diamonds De Luxe

  Harry Stephen Keeler

  The Most Dangerous Game

  Richard Connell

  Four Square Jane

  Edgar Wallace

  A Fortune in Tin

  Edgar Wallace

  The Genuine Old Master

  David Durham

  The Colonel Gives a Party

  Everett Rhodes Castle

  Footsteps of Fear

  Vincent Starrett

  The Signed Masterpiece

  Frederick Irving Anderson

  The Hands of Mr. Ottermole

  Thomas Burke

  “His Lady” to the Rescue

  Bruce Graeme

  On Getting an Introduction

  Edgar Wallace

  The Fifteen Murderers

  Ben Hecht

  The Damsel in Distress

  Leslie Charteris

  THE PULP ERA

  After-Dinner Story

  William Irish

  The Mystery of the Golden Skull

  Donald E. Keyhoe

  We Are All Dead

  Bruno Fischer

  Horror Insured

  Paul Ernst

  A Shock for the Countess

  C. S. Montanye

  A Shabby Millionaire

  Christopher B. Booth

  Crimson Shackles

  Frederick C. Davis

  The Adventure of the Voodoo Moon

  Eugene Thomas

  The Copper Bowl

  George Fielding Eliot

  POST–WORLD WAR II

  The Cat-Woman

  Erle Stanley Gardner

  The Kid Stacks a Deck

  Erle Stanley Gardner

  The Theft from the Empty Room

  Edward D. Hoch

  The Shill

  Stephen Marlowe

  The Dr. Sherrock Commission

  Frank McAuliffe

  In Round Figures

  Erle Stanley Gardner

  The Racket Buster

  Erle Stanley Gardner

  Sweet Music

  Robert L. Fish

  THE MODERNS

  The Ehrengraf Experience

  Lawrence Block

  Quarry’s Luck

  Max Allan Collins

  The Partnership

  David Morrell

  Blackburn Sins

  Bradley Denton

  The Black Spot

  Loren D. Estleman

  Car Trouble

  Jas. R. Petrin

  Keller on the Spot

  Lawrence Block

  Boudin Noir

  R. T. Lawton

  Like a Thief in the Night

  Lawrence Block

  Too Many Crooks

  Donald E. Westlake

  Permissions Acknowledgments

  INTRODUCTION

  MYSTERY FICTION encompasses a broad spectrum of subgenres, although it is common for casual aficionados to focus on the detective story as the only “true” mystery. As I have often defined it (and, quite naturally, I regard it as a good and fair definition), a mystery is any
work of prose fiction in which a crime or the threat of a crime is central to the theme or plot.

  On a football field, the pure detective story may go from the end zone to the twenty-five-yard line. The crime story, in which the central figure is a criminal of some kind, whether rogue or villain (and I’ll get to that shortly), may move the ball another twenty yards. The novel of suspense, which includes women or children in jeopardy, the everyday gone wrong, as well as tales of psychological unease and irrational behavior, whether of sociopathy or fear, will produce a long gain well past midfield, and espionage/international intrigue will cross the goal line. The killing of a large number of people is, of course, part of the same horrific game as the killing of an individual.

  There are numerous sub-subgenres (historical mysteries, police procedurals, comedies, etc.) but they fall within the prime subgenres, many of which also overlap: all forms may (one might say should) create suspense, spies may work as detectives to catch moles, psychopaths tend to be criminals, and their actions may well create suspense and a detective is probably hunting them, so the lines blur.

  The first legitimate mystery anthology, the anonymously edited The Long Arm and Other Detective Tales, was released in 1895. In the nearly century-and-a-quarter since, the preponderance of anthologies published have featured detectives as the central characters. This collection has reversed that common practice to focus on criminals. The title, The Big Book of Rogues and Villains, very specifically divides the protagonists into two groups, mostly quite different from each other, although those lines also blur from time to time.

  Roguery must be distinguished from villainy. The latter is the creature of evil and malice, if not of outright pathology. It is bad behavior carried to an unpleasant extreme—generally murder. The former tends not to be vicious, prefers no serious physical injury to others, and defines itself as rascality soaked in humor or explained as the result of an unfortunate social environment. Again, the lines may blur from time to time, as a rogue may cause severe hardship or fear in others, while the villain may have a tender heart for a dog or a child, even if he has murdered someone.

  While we may normally be able to easily perceive the distinction between roguery and villainy, the contrast may hinge less upon the venality or atrocity of the deed perpetrated than upon the character’s and the author’s point of view.

  The typical crime of the rogue is theft, whether by burglary, swindle, forgery, blackmail, or other physically nonviolent transgressions. If his escapades lead to serious physical violence, that action will generally end his career as a rascal, and place him into the category of villain. Most rogues prefer to win by guile or dexterity that which others have earned by labor or inheritance. They may create a phony business with worthless stock, forge a will or a check, cheat at cards, scheme for marriage to an heiress, crack a safe in the dark of night, or replace a genuine Old Master with a fake. History and literature have shown there is no end to the nefarious schemes that the amoral mind is capable of devising.

  The typical crime of the villain is murder, for which there is seldom an acceptable excuse. Although one of the protagonists in this book excuses his action by saying, “He needed killing,” not everyone would agree. Still, there are myriad reasons to not only excuse killing but applaud it. Not all killing, it may be said, is murder. Self-defense is the easiest to justify; with other examples of taking a human life, there are often two sides vehemently opposed to each other. The most frequently posited challenge in such disagreements is: “Given the chance to go back in time, would you kill [pick your real villain—Hitler, Stalin, Mao, Idi Amin—it’s a long list] given the opportunity?” And would it make you a villain if you did?

  I’m in danger of asking next how many angels could dance around the head of a pin, while this large gathering of fictional rogues and villains is designed merely to give pleasure. It’s a giant shelf-filler of what was once known as escapist fiction, before the term fell into disfavor. Is any fiction not escapist?

  This big book is thoughtfully but impossibly divided into sections, though as I compiled the table of contents I realized that there are many stories that easily could fall into more than one category, so please don’t take the divisions too seriously.

  The heyday of the gentleman thief was the end of the Victorian era and the Edwardian era, and many of the stories have a similarity that’s hard to avoid with a book of this kind. The crooks often have good standing in the community and they dress well. It’s a game to them, even if a dangerous one, and they carry off their roles with insouciance and verve. Many of them are brilliant and have nerves of steel. They are seemingly infallible, rarely getting caught, but, if they do, they always find a way out through their wit, a bogus alibi, or a flummoxed witness.

  As a grammatical aside, I’ve been using the pronoun “he” because “they” is just flat-out wrong and “he or she” is cumbersome, so no offense to anybody. But women have their roles here, too, and you will undoubtedly find them as charming as their “gangs” do. You will find Fidelity Dove and Four Square Jane very similar, but there was never a thought of omitting either. Almost all the female rogues (and villains) are young and beautiful—all the better to fool their victims as well as the police.

  Other similarities of style and performance occur in the stories about the morally challenged lawyers Randolph Mason and Ehrengraf, the adventures of hit men Quarry and Keller, the modus operandi of con men Wallingford and Colonel Clay, the conscienceless actions of “Yellow Peril” monsters Quong Lung and Fu Manchu, and the rogues of Erle Stanley Gardner. Then again, there are not many differences between the methods of such iconic detectives as Philip Marlowe, Sam Spade, and Lew Archer. What matters is how creatively and beautifully the authors tell the stories.

  The genre has its rules and restrictions, just as symphonies and sonnets have theirs. One raspberry has its similarities to another, but the point is not to seek a major variation, merely to enjoy it. I hope you enjoy these stories and their variations.

  And remember: Crime may pay in fiction but it’s not a good choice in real life. Sherlock Holmes is still alive and will catch you!

  —Otto Penzler

  THE VICTORIANS

  Villain: Madame Katherine Koluchy

  At the Edge of the Crater

  L. T. MEADE & ROBERT EUSTACE

  ELIZABETH THOMASINA MEADE SMITH (1844–1914), nom de plume Lillie Thomas Meade, wrote numerous volumes of detective fiction, several of which are historically important. Stories from the Diary of a Doctor (1894; second series 1896), written in collaboration with Dr. Edgar Beaumont (pseudonym Dr. Clifford Halifax), is the first series of medical mysteries published in England. Other memorable books by Meade include A Master of Mysteries (1898), The Gold Star Line (1899), and The Sanctuary Club (1900), the last featuring an unusual health club in which a series of murders is committed by apparently supernatural means; all three were written in collaboration with Dr. Eustace Robert Barton (18??–1943), writing as Robert Eustace. Another notable work was The Sorceress of the Strand (1903), in which Madame Sara, an utterly sinister villainess, specializes in murder.

  The Brotherhood of the Seven Kings (1899), also a collaborative effort with Eustace, is the first series of stories about a female crook. The thoroughly evil leader of an Italian criminal organization, the dazzlingly beautiful and brilliant Madame Koluchy matches wits with Norman Head, a reclusive philosopher who had once joined her gang. The volume was selected by Ellery Queen for Queen’s Quorum as one of the one hundred and six most important collections of mystery short stories. Curiously, only Meade’s name appears on the front cover and spine of the book, though Eustace is given credit as the cowriter on the title page.

  Robert Eustace is known mainly for his collaborations with other writers. In addition to working with Meade, he cowrote several stories with Edgar Jepson; a novel with the once-popular mystery writer Gertrude Warden, The Stolen Pearl: A Romance of London (1903); and, most famously, a novel with Dorothy L. S
ayers, The Documents in the Case (1930).

  “At the Edge of the Crater” was first published in The Brotherhood of the Seven Kings (London, Ward, Lock, 1899).

  AT THE EDGE OF THE CRATER

  L. T. Meade & Robert Eustace

  IT WAS IN THE YEAR 1894 that the first of the remarkable events which I am about to give to the world occurred. They found me something of a philosopher and a recluse, having, as I thought, lived my life and done with the active part of existence. It is true that I was young, not more than thirty-five years of age, but in the ghastly past I had committed a supreme error, and because of that paralyzing experience I had left the bustling world and found my solace in the scientist’s laboratory and the philosopher’s study.

  Ten years before these stories begin, when in Naples studying biology, I fell a victim to the wiles and fascinations of a beautiful Italian. A scientist of no mean attainments herself, with beauty beyond that of ordinary mortals, she had appealed not only to my head, but also to my heart. Dazzled by her beauty and intellect, she led me where she would. Her aims and ambitions, which in the false glamour she threw over them I thought the loftiest in the world, became also mine. She introduced me to the men of her set—I was quickly in the toils, and on a night never to be forgotten, I took part in a grotesque and horrible ceremony, and became a member of her Brotherhood.