The Big Book of Rogues and Villains
ALSO EDITED BY OTTO PENZLER
The Big Book of Jack the Ripper
The Big Book of Sherlock Holmes Stories
The Black Lizard Big Book of Locked-Room Mysteries
The Big Book of Christmas Mysteries
The Big Book of Ghost Stories
Zombies! Zombies! Zombies!
The Big Book of Adventure Stories
The Vampire Archives
Agents of Treachery
Bloodsuckers
Fangs
Coffins
The Black Lizard Big Book of Black Mask Stories
The Black Lizard Big Book of Pulps
A VINTAGE CRIME/BLACK LIZARD ORIGINAL, OCTOBER 2017
Copyright © 2017 by Otto Penzler
All rights reserved. Published in the United States by Vintage Books, a division of Penguin Random House LLC, New York, and distributed in Canada by Random House of Canada, a division of Penguin Random House Canada Limited, Toronto.
Vintage is a registered trademark and Vintage Crime/Black Lizard and colophon are trademarks of Penguin Random House LLC.
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the product of the authors’ imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.
The Cataloging-in-Publication data is on file at the Library of Congress.
Vintage Crime/Black Lizard Trade Paperback ISBN: 9780525432487
Ebook ISBN 9780525432494
Cover design: Joe Montgomery
Cover illustration: Le Bouchon De Cristal (detail) by Leo Fontan/Mary Evans Picture Library
www.blacklizardcrime.com
v4.1
a
For Andrew Klavan
My wise, hilarious, and trusted friend and confidant—sometimes roguish but never villainous
CONTENTS
Cover
Also Edited by Otto Penzler
Title Page
Copyright
Dedication
Introduction by Otto Penzler
THE VICTORIANS
At the Edge of the Crater
L. T. Meade & Robert Eustace
The Episode of the Mexican Seer
Grant Allen
The Body Snatcher
Robert Louis Stevenson
Dracula’s Guest
Bram Stoker
The Narrative of Mr. James Rigby
Arthur Morrison
The Ides of March
E. W. Hornung
NINETEENTH-CENTURY AMERICANS
The Story of a Young Robber
Washington Irving
Moon-Face
Jack London
The Shadow of Quong Lung
C. W. Doyle
THE EDWARDIANS
The Fire of London
Arnold Bennett
Madame Sara
L. T. Meade & Robert Eustace
The Affair of the Man Who Called Himself Hamilton Cleek
Thomas W. Hanshew
The Mysterious Railway Passenger
Maurice Leblanc
An Unposted Letter
Newton MacTavish
The Adventure of “The Brain”
Bertram Atkey
The Kailyard Novel
Clifford Ashdown
The Parole of Gevil-Hay
K. & Hesketh Prichard
The Hammerpond Park Burglary
H. G. Wells
The Zayat Kiss
Sax Rohmer
EARLY TWENTIETH-CENTURY AMERICANS
The Infallible Godahl
Frederick Irving Anderson
The Caballero’s Way
O. Henry
Conscience in Art
O. Henry
The Unpublishable Memoirs
A. S. W. Rosenbach
The Universal Covered Carpet Tack Company
George Randolph Chester
Boston Blackie’s Code
Jack Boyle
The Gray Seal
Frank L. Packard
The Dignity of Honest Labor
Percival Pollard
The Eyes of the Countess Gerda
May Edginton
The Willow Walk
Sinclair Lewis
A Retrieved Reformation
O. Henry
BETWEEN THE WORLD WARS
The Burglar
John Russell
Portrait of a Murderer
Q. Patrick
Karmesin and the Big Flea
Gerald Kersh
The Very Raffles-Like Episode of Castor and Pollux, Diamonds De Luxe
Harry Stephen Keeler
The Most Dangerous Game
Richard Connell
Four Square Jane
Edgar Wallace
A Fortune in Tin
Edgar Wallace
The Genuine Old Master
David Durham
The Colonel Gives a Party
Everett Rhodes Castle
Footsteps of Fear
Vincent Starrett
The Signed Masterpiece
Frederick Irving Anderson
The Hands of Mr. Ottermole
Thomas Burke
“His Lady” to the Rescue
Bruce Graeme
On Getting an Introduction
Edgar Wallace
The Fifteen Murderers
Ben Hecht
The Damsel in Distress
Leslie Charteris
THE PULP ERA
After-Dinner Story
William Irish
The Mystery of the Golden Skull
Donald E. Keyhoe
We Are All Dead
Bruno Fischer
Horror Insured
Paul Ernst
A Shock for the Countess
C. S. Montanye
A Shabby Millionaire
Christopher B. Booth
Crimson Shackles
Frederick C. Davis
The Adventure of the Voodoo Moon
Eugene Thomas
The Copper Bowl
George Fielding Eliot
POST–WORLD WAR II
The Cat-Woman
Erle Stanley Gardner
The Kid Stacks a Deck
Erle Stanley Gardner
The Theft from the Empty Room
Edward D. Hoch
The Shill
Stephen Marlowe
The Dr. Sherrock Commission
Frank McAuliffe
In Round Figures
Erle Stanley Gardner
The Racket Buster
Erle Stanley Gardner
Sweet Music
Robert L. Fish
THE MODERNS
The Ehrengraf Experience
Lawrence Block
Quarry’s Luck
Max Allan Collins
The Partnership
David Morrell
Blackburn Sins
Bradley Denton
The Black Spot
Loren D. Estleman
Car Trouble
Jas. R. Petrin
Keller on the Spot
Lawrence Block
Boudin Noir
R. T. Lawton
Like a Thief in the Night
Lawrence Block
Too Many Crooks
Donald E. Westlake
Permissions Acknowledgments
INTRODUCTION
MYSTERY FICTION encompasses a broad spectrum of subgenres, although it is common for casual aficionados to focus on the detective story as the only “true” mystery. As I have often defined it (and, quite naturally, I regard it as a good and fair definition), a mystery is any
work of prose fiction in which a crime or the threat of a crime is central to the theme or plot.
On a football field, the pure detective story may go from the end zone to the twenty-five-yard line. The crime story, in which the central figure is a criminal of some kind, whether rogue or villain (and I’ll get to that shortly), may move the ball another twenty yards. The novel of suspense, which includes women or children in jeopardy, the everyday gone wrong, as well as tales of psychological unease and irrational behavior, whether of sociopathy or fear, will produce a long gain well past midfield, and espionage/international intrigue will cross the goal line. The killing of a large number of people is, of course, part of the same horrific game as the killing of an individual.
There are numerous sub-subgenres (historical mysteries, police procedurals, comedies, etc.) but they fall within the prime subgenres, many of which also overlap: all forms may (one might say should) create suspense, spies may work as detectives to catch moles, psychopaths tend to be criminals, and their actions may well create suspense and a detective is probably hunting them, so the lines blur.
The first legitimate mystery anthology, the anonymously edited The Long Arm and Other Detective Tales, was released in 1895. In the nearly century-and-a-quarter since, the preponderance of anthologies published have featured detectives as the central characters. This collection has reversed that common practice to focus on criminals. The title, The Big Book of Rogues and Villains, very specifically divides the protagonists into two groups, mostly quite different from each other, although those lines also blur from time to time.
Roguery must be distinguished from villainy. The latter is the creature of evil and malice, if not of outright pathology. It is bad behavior carried to an unpleasant extreme—generally murder. The former tends not to be vicious, prefers no serious physical injury to others, and defines itself as rascality soaked in humor or explained as the result of an unfortunate social environment. Again, the lines may blur from time to time, as a rogue may cause severe hardship or fear in others, while the villain may have a tender heart for a dog or a child, even if he has murdered someone.
While we may normally be able to easily perceive the distinction between roguery and villainy, the contrast may hinge less upon the venality or atrocity of the deed perpetrated than upon the character’s and the author’s point of view.
The typical crime of the rogue is theft, whether by burglary, swindle, forgery, blackmail, or other physically nonviolent transgressions. If his escapades lead to serious physical violence, that action will generally end his career as a rascal, and place him into the category of villain. Most rogues prefer to win by guile or dexterity that which others have earned by labor or inheritance. They may create a phony business with worthless stock, forge a will or a check, cheat at cards, scheme for marriage to an heiress, crack a safe in the dark of night, or replace a genuine Old Master with a fake. History and literature have shown there is no end to the nefarious schemes that the amoral mind is capable of devising.
The typical crime of the villain is murder, for which there is seldom an acceptable excuse. Although one of the protagonists in this book excuses his action by saying, “He needed killing,” not everyone would agree. Still, there are myriad reasons to not only excuse killing but applaud it. Not all killing, it may be said, is murder. Self-defense is the easiest to justify; with other examples of taking a human life, there are often two sides vehemently opposed to each other. The most frequently posited challenge in such disagreements is: “Given the chance to go back in time, would you kill [pick your real villain—Hitler, Stalin, Mao, Idi Amin—it’s a long list] given the opportunity?” And would it make you a villain if you did?
I’m in danger of asking next how many angels could dance around the head of a pin, while this large gathering of fictional rogues and villains is designed merely to give pleasure. It’s a giant shelf-filler of what was once known as escapist fiction, before the term fell into disfavor. Is any fiction not escapist?
This big book is thoughtfully but impossibly divided into sections, though as I compiled the table of contents I realized that there are many stories that easily could fall into more than one category, so please don’t take the divisions too seriously.
The heyday of the gentleman thief was the end of the Victorian era and the Edwardian era, and many of the stories have a similarity that’s hard to avoid with a book of this kind. The crooks often have good standing in the community and they dress well. It’s a game to them, even if a dangerous one, and they carry off their roles with insouciance and verve. Many of them are brilliant and have nerves of steel. They are seemingly infallible, rarely getting caught, but, if they do, they always find a way out through their wit, a bogus alibi, or a flummoxed witness.
As a grammatical aside, I’ve been using the pronoun “he” because “they” is just flat-out wrong and “he or she” is cumbersome, so no offense to anybody. But women have their roles here, too, and you will undoubtedly find them as charming as their “gangs” do. You will find Fidelity Dove and Four Square Jane very similar, but there was never a thought of omitting either. Almost all the female rogues (and villains) are young and beautiful—all the better to fool their victims as well as the police.
Other similarities of style and performance occur in the stories about the morally challenged lawyers Randolph Mason and Ehrengraf, the adventures of hit men Quarry and Keller, the modus operandi of con men Wallingford and Colonel Clay, the conscienceless actions of “Yellow Peril” monsters Quong Lung and Fu Manchu, and the rogues of Erle Stanley Gardner. Then again, there are not many differences between the methods of such iconic detectives as Philip Marlowe, Sam Spade, and Lew Archer. What matters is how creatively and beautifully the authors tell the stories.
The genre has its rules and restrictions, just as symphonies and sonnets have theirs. One raspberry has its similarities to another, but the point is not to seek a major variation, merely to enjoy it. I hope you enjoy these stories and their variations.
And remember: Crime may pay in fiction but it’s not a good choice in real life. Sherlock Holmes is still alive and will catch you!
—Otto Penzler
THE VICTORIANS
Villain: Madame Katherine Koluchy
At the Edge of the Crater
L. T. MEADE & ROBERT EUSTACE
ELIZABETH THOMASINA MEADE SMITH (1844–1914), nom de plume Lillie Thomas Meade, wrote numerous volumes of detective fiction, several of which are historically important. Stories from the Diary of a Doctor (1894; second series 1896), written in collaboration with Dr. Edgar Beaumont (pseudonym Dr. Clifford Halifax), is the first series of medical mysteries published in England. Other memorable books by Meade include A Master of Mysteries (1898), The Gold Star Line (1899), and The Sanctuary Club (1900), the last featuring an unusual health club in which a series of murders is committed by apparently supernatural means; all three were written in collaboration with Dr. Eustace Robert Barton (18??–1943), writing as Robert Eustace. Another notable work was The Sorceress of the Strand (1903), in which Madame Sara, an utterly sinister villainess, specializes in murder.
The Brotherhood of the Seven Kings (1899), also a collaborative effort with Eustace, is the first series of stories about a female crook. The thoroughly evil leader of an Italian criminal organization, the dazzlingly beautiful and brilliant Madame Koluchy matches wits with Norman Head, a reclusive philosopher who had once joined her gang. The volume was selected by Ellery Queen for Queen’s Quorum as one of the one hundred and six most important collections of mystery short stories. Curiously, only Meade’s name appears on the front cover and spine of the book, though Eustace is given credit as the cowriter on the title page.
Robert Eustace is known mainly for his collaborations with other writers. In addition to working with Meade, he cowrote several stories with Edgar Jepson; a novel with the once-popular mystery writer Gertrude Warden, The Stolen Pearl: A Romance of London (1903); and, most famously, a novel with Dorothy L. S
ayers, The Documents in the Case (1930).
“At the Edge of the Crater” was first published in The Brotherhood of the Seven Kings (London, Ward, Lock, 1899).
AT THE EDGE OF THE CRATER
L. T. Meade & Robert Eustace
IT WAS IN THE YEAR 1894 that the first of the remarkable events which I am about to give to the world occurred. They found me something of a philosopher and a recluse, having, as I thought, lived my life and done with the active part of existence. It is true that I was young, not more than thirty-five years of age, but in the ghastly past I had committed a supreme error, and because of that paralyzing experience I had left the bustling world and found my solace in the scientist’s laboratory and the philosopher’s study.
Ten years before these stories begin, when in Naples studying biology, I fell a victim to the wiles and fascinations of a beautiful Italian. A scientist of no mean attainments herself, with beauty beyond that of ordinary mortals, she had appealed not only to my head, but also to my heart. Dazzled by her beauty and intellect, she led me where she would. Her aims and ambitions, which in the false glamour she threw over them I thought the loftiest in the world, became also mine. She introduced me to the men of her set—I was quickly in the toils, and on a night never to be forgotten, I took part in a grotesque and horrible ceremony, and became a member of her Brotherhood.